Change, Health and Wellbeing, Journaling, Meditation, Reiki, Self care, Self love

You are the only one who can validate how you feel!

You are the only one that can validate your feelings.

After yoga, this morning there was a conversation about emotions and what to do when someone invalidates how you feel.
 
For years, I found expressing my emotions very difficult because I was always either shut down or told I was being irrational or over sensitive. So I got to a point where I not only failed to express my emotions, I didn’t even acknowledge them. I would just stuff them down, tell myself everything would sort itself out or that I was resilient and would get through this.
 
Then I was introduced to Louise Hay and her affirmation “this too will pass” became one of my favourites. It was useful for enabling me to deal with life when things were hard but in some ways it also gave me carte blanche to ignore my feelings as they too would pass.
 
The trouble with ignoring your feelings is that you then end up anxious, depressed, stressed, resentful or angry or a combination of these. When this happens you may have the occasional meltdown because those feelings will erupt when you least expect it. This is when those around are most likely to invalidate your feelings, telling you that you are overreacting which you well may be because the eruption can be caused by the smallest of things which acts as a touch light and opens the flood gate to all the repressed emotions.
 
A good self care routine allows you the space and freedom to feel, express and validate your own emotions. You don’t need anyone else telling you how you should feel or dismissing your feelings, they’re not in your body living your life so they can’t possibly know how you feel. You are the only one who can validate how you feel.
 
The women in my free group are working with the affirmation “I allow myself to unapologetically feel all of my feelings” this week. When life gets busy it can be easy to just push something down and get on with the tasks in front of you but when you practise good self care you leave yourself time in your day to feel and process those feelings.
 
If you haven’t got a good self care routine or don’t know how to implement one I have a free guide to help you. Link here.
 
Or if you would like to join the women in my group working on building their confidence through implementing good self care you’ll find the link for that here.
Body Image, Health and Wellbeing, Reiki, Healing, Gratitude, Uncategorized

What is your relationship with your body?

Do you love it? Accept it as it is, with no desires to change anything?

Do you treat it as a temple? Feed it healthy and nourishing foods? Keep it hydrated? Get plenty of sleep and sufficient exercise?

Or are you like most of the rest of us? Looking critically in the mirror and finding things you don’t like, parts that you want to be bigger, smaller, a different shape.

Are you influenced by what you see the media, by the whimsies of fashion, this season short skirts and thigh gaps, next season low cut tops and cleavages and feel you have to follow the trends in order to look good or fit in?

Would you like to be able to love YOUR body just as it is? To accept all its perceived flaws?

Because, believe the flaws you see are just your perception. The flaws other people think they see in other’s bodies stem from their hang ups about their own bodies. We judge because we feel judged. We reflect and mirror our own thoughts and feelings about our bodies onto others.

My body is not perfect, well not by society’s standards anyway, and my doctor would probably have a thing or two to say about my weight and occasionally not so great diet.

BUT and here’s the big BUTT! I have long ago accepted my body, and I realise that as I go through life that my body is constantly changing and for most of those changes there is absolutely nothing I can do that will affect them, growth and maturity happens to all of us. Yes, I could have surgery or use chemicals to hold back the effects of aging, but I reckon it’ll catch up with me one way or another and isn’t it better to go with the flow? Yes, my face and my hands may show that I have lived, smiled, laughed, loved, cried, worried and washed a shed load of dishes but that is what I am here for to experience life in all its glory.

To try and change my body would be to try and wipe away the experiences that have shaped me and it.

Every day, I give thanks to my body for carrying me through life. I try to exercise, eat healthily and get enough sleep. I don’t always succeed, and it shows. I have learned to be compassionate with myself, to forgive myself, and to tune into my body and ask what it needs to recover, to restore its equilibrium.

You see, we only have one body, the body we’re in. This our vehicle for life and just as you wouldn’t drive your car on flat tyres or without oil or coolant you shouldn’t be driving your body on incorrect fuel or lack of sleep.

The body though is not just a mechanical device, it is a whole system. A system that comprises of the physical, the mental, the emotional and spiritual, each of which feeds the other.

When we allow our emotions to drive we become overwhelmed and we then disregard the physical needs of the body. We feed it the wrong food, we drink alcohol, we smoke or take drugs all in an attempt to drown out those feelings because they scare us. Most of us grew up being told that feelings were bad, that we shouldn’t show anger, or cry, that showing our emotional side was somehow bad and we became embarrassed by emotions so we stuff them down and refuse to feel them.

BUT the body knows, my belief is that all our memories, our experiences good and bad are stored in the body. Have you ever thought about this? How you can pinpoint where in the body you feel something? How many of us get butterflies in our stomachs when we are scared or excited about something? A restriction in our chest and breathing when we feel anxious? Perhaps a headache when remember a particular event?

These memories and emotions stored in the body create energy blockages, the body tries to clear them by drawing your attention to that part of your body by creating a feeling or an emotion. Of course, we then, being human, get our thought processes involved and allow our thoughts to run away with us, to remember bad things or create catastrophic scenarios for ourselves. The brain and body don’t distinguish between the real and the imagined, so every time we take take ourselves down those scary avenues in our thoughts we’re adding to those energy blockages in the body.

And the body wants them cleared so it produces a physical sensation and an emotion to get your attention and we go off on the merry-go-round again!

We need to come back to the body, to the physical, to the vehicle in which we reside. When we learn to love and respect and give gratitude to the wonderful body we are in we are taking the first steps towards healing all of us. When we stop ignoring the body’s messages, and trying to drown them out with substances that are bad for it, and listen to them and give the body what it needs our whole system calms down because the body no longer has to shout for you you to hear, to act. A side effect of this is that a lot of those scary emotions will then subside.

Do you want to learn to Love YOUR Body?

To develop a loving, grateful relationship with that has the potential to change your whole life?

I’m working on a series of meditations to help you learn to Love YOUR Body and thus embark on a life changing journey.

Go to my COMING SOON for more information or click the link below to be kept in the loop!

Health and Wellbeing, Reiki, Healing, Gratitude, Spirituality, Uncategorized

𝙍𝙚𝙞𝙠𝙞 𝙞𝙨 𝙖 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙞𝙤𝙣. 𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙙𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙞𝙤𝙣!

Reiki is not a religion, it can be a way of life, a path to spiritual awareness.

The system of Reiki works on the idea that we are all connected to the world in more than one way and as such there are four levels of healing:

the physical or the body,

emotional – your feelings and experiences

mental – your thoughts and attitudes and

spiritual – your connection with your higher self, the universe or source.

These are represented by the three diamonds or tandens.

We have our physical body represented by the lower tanden or hara placed about 2cm below the navel, which also represents our feelings of safety, security, and groundedness our Earth Energy.

The upper tanden, sometimes referred to as the third eye, represents our thoughts, our intuition, our creativity our connection to spirit, our Heaven Energy.

The middle tanden also known as the heart chakra represents love, inner peace, gratitude and our connection to others, our connection and awareness that we are not alone but one with the everyone and everything in the universe, this energy is called Oneness.

Healing is becoming whole, uniting all those parts of us, not just healing the physical symptoms but looking at all the elements that led to development of those symptoms.