Affirmations, Health and Wellbeing, Self love

Three questions to ask yourself feeling anxious.

Three questions to ask yourself when you are feeling anxious.

Feeling anxious is normal! Especially when you are about to do something new or different. 

Allowing that anxiety to stop you from doing doing things, however, is not good. It restricts your lifestyle and you lose out on opportunities.

So if you are feeling anxious about going somewhere new or different here are three questions to help you deal with that anxiety and a real life example of how they help me!

The first question I ask is  What am I really scared of?

When I ask myself this question the answer invariably comes back that I am scared of getting lost. I don’t like being in “strange” places where I don’t know anyone or don’t recognise landmarks. I also hate being late, so getting lost adds to the stress of getting places at the time I agreed.

So having established that I then ask the second question  What are the chances of this happening?

Well it’s me and I don’t have a very good sense of direction and maps continue to be a complete mystery to me so there is a 95% chance that I will get lost!

This is where the third question come into its own. Can I plan for that or make a different choice?

I could choose not to go but that would lead to a pretty miserable life I chose to never go anywhere new. So I plan my route beforehand, I look on Google maps street view and identify landmarks to help me. If I am using public transport I plan and alternative route in case of delays or cancellations. I also let my son know where I am going as he has an excellent sense of direction and if I do inevitably end up getting lost I can call him and he can look at Google maps and tell me exactly where I need to go. If he is not available I just take a few deep breaths and step into knowing that I won’t be lost forever. I also know that I can ask others for help too.

Recognising the fear of getting lost  and knowing that it is likely to happen has in some way taken a lot the anxiety away from it. It’s not as if I plan to get lost but when I do it’s not as much of an issue because I am aware that it might happen and I build in time to my plans so that I’m not late even if I do get lost.

If you are struggling with anxiety on a regular basis I have a free audio of affirmations to help you. You can grab them here.

 

Affirmations, Health and Wellbeing, Self care, Self love, Spirituality

Affirmations don’t work!

Affirmations Don't Work!

If I had a pound for every time someone has told me that affirmations don’t work I would be a very rich woman indeed. 

So many say that they are “woo” or fluffy and that they do nothing.

If the affirmations you are, or have been using, are doing nothing for you, then you are using the wrong affirmations.

You see they are not meant to be easy. You don’t just repeat the words over and over and hope they’ll sink in and magically change your life!

And you give up to soon and too easily!

Because I bet the first time you used an affirmation it either felt bland or it brought up all sort of uncomfortable feelings and your brain ran riot trying to disprove what you were telling it.

If it felt meh or even good then it was the wrong affirmation – you don’t need that one, try another one.

The one that brought up the horrible feelings and negative thought cycles?

That is the affirmation you need!

But you ran away because it didn’t feel good and you were told that’s what affirmations do.

You possibly feel lied to and hoodwinked.

You weren’t. You just weren’t told how affirmations are really supposed to work!

they are supposed to bring up all the uncomfortable feelings and negative thoughts because that’s how you know you what you need to work on.

If you use the affirmation, for example, ” I love and approve of myself” and it makes you feel all squirmy and you want to avoid the feelings that come up then you know you have some work to do on loving and approving yourself. 

You most likely have deep seated beliefs that you are not good enough or that you are unworthy of love or approval. 

This is what you need to address!

You need to work on loving yourself and seeing your worth and as you do so the affirmation will begin to feel more comfortable and as you repeat it you begin to believe it and it’s worked it’s magic. You can say that you love and approve of yourself because you have done the work and can see how loveable and worthy you are.

That is how affirmations work. They are not a magic wand or spell. They require your willingness to change long held beliefs and thoughts about yourself, by helping you find them in first place.

Want to know more grab my free audio and video and let’s make affirmations work for you.

Health and Wellbeing, Self care, Self love

Do you show up how you want to in life?

Do you show up in life the way you want to?

Do you show up for your business, your family, your life in the way you want? Greet each new day, client, outing with excitement?

Or do you feel you’re just going through the motions? Wading through a to do list that just keeps getting longer? That you stop even for a moment everything will fall apart?

If everything feels heavy and that you never seem to catch your breath it’s because you don’t have a good self care routine.

Good self care is like gardening, you wouldn’t plant seeds or bulbs and then just leave them to it, they need the correct amount of sunlight, watering, possibly thinning out once the seedling emerge.

It’s time to treat yourself the same way. Give yourself what you need and watch yourself flourish and blossom.

So, you think you don’t have time or maybe you don’t know what self care looks like for you anymore? Then you need The Self Care Revolution!

 

 

 

 

Health and Wellbeing, Self care, Self love

Good self care gives you a voice

Good self care gives you a voice!

Good self care gives you a voice. 

It gives you permission and the confidence to stand up for your own needs.

A good self care routine provides a solid base from which to voice those needs and create and keep clear boundaries around it.

When you have  a greater understanding of what you need to feel good you are less likely to allow others to impinge on your self care time or to indulge in people pleasing.

You understand that it’s okay to disappoint people, you don’t need to drop everything to do someone else’s bidding. Your nos are more affirmative and you yeses more heartfelt. When you say to something that you really want to do everyone benefits. When you say yes begrudgingly it affects your mood and those around you and your ability to perform the task.

If this is something you want more of in your life then you need The Self Care Revolution. Join the revolution here.

Health and Wellbeing, Self care, Self love

Do you have a side to you that no one see?

Do you have a side to you that no one sees?

Do you have a side to you that no one sees? Until they do and then it surprises them?
 
That phrase “still waters run deep” has always bugged me because in many ways it’s true.
 
While I like to think I am transparent that what you see is what you get it isn’t. On the surface I appear a calm, confident, quiet, wouldn’t say boo to a goose person. (I like clichés!)
 
But I have a rebellious streak that’s like an iron rod through my core. It is an integral part of who I am and makes me not just stubborn but often unable to toe the line, to do what others easily do, to follow someone else’s advice without question trusting that it will work for me as it has for them. I have a profound urge to understand the why, what and how and until I do I remain resolute in not taking that first step.
 
As a child I was fearful but also curious. Brought up a Catholic we were warned against stepping inside the Protestant church; told that if we did we would be struck down by lightning or worse. That the Lord would be very displeased with us. I needed to find out what was inside that church. It was set away from the main town with a graveyard around it, a stone arch at its entrance. There were trees on either side of the path up to the church door which lent themselves well to hiding a little girl while she staked out the place, took note of any comings and goings, service times and from the newsletter pinned to the outside notice board any funerals that might be taking place.
 
One sunny afternoon when all was clear, I stepped out from behind my tree and walked tentatively towards the always open front door. I knew there was no one in there and from my observations that no one was likely to arrive in the next half hour or so. I gathered all my strength and courage and stepped over the threshold into the forbidden church.
 
It was beautiful. Smaller than our church, but older with arches and pillars, two separate naves with unfamiliar statues. The sun shone through the stained-glass windows creating a myriad of jewel like patterns on the floor. I was mesmerised. And strangely felt far safer here than I did in my own huge, cold mausoleum of a church where the rules and regulations sought to stifle my spirt.
 
For a year or two before we moved to another town, this small forbidden church became a refuge for me. A place I would come to be alone, to sit and think or admire the everchanging patterns on the floor, for even on dull days the sun still shone through those coloured windows.
 
I never understood why we were not allowed in that church so was always cautious against getting caught. Maybe someone else knew that I snuck in there as a little girl, not to pray but to let my imagination run riot, to escape the noise of siblings and friends, and sometimes to read but always alert in case someone might find me there. I was afraid but I followed my heart and found peace.
Health and Wellbeing, Self care, Self love

Escape or Self Care?

Escape or Self Care?

Escape or self care?

Is that glass of wine or bar of chocolate you are having when you finish work and chores for the day really self care or is it escape?

 

A way of escaping or drowning out the thoughts or emotions that are popping up. The should haves, could haves, would haves that just serve to make you feel worse about yourself and your perceived lack of achievements?

 

Do you tell yourself you deserve it while at the back of your mind you know it’s doing more harm than good?

Indulgence isn’t always self care!

 

Just because the media or your friends tell you that you need a glass of wine, chocolate, ice cream cake, a long bath, a manicure  to help you unwind, that you need to care for you doesn’t mean these things are right for you. They may be good, fun enjoyable occasionally but then they become habits that don’t sustain you but harm you. You can become reliant on them as a fix, a crutch, a way of avoiding the emotions and mess that confronting what is really going on for  you will bring up.

 

But aren’t you tired of feeling like this? Of having one more glass of wine, one more bath and nothing seems to change, to shift, to get better?
 

It doesn’t have to be like this!

 

Are you ready to break free?

 

To redefine what self care looks like for you?

True self care!

 

Self care that leaves you feeling nurtured, loved and replenished?

Are you ready for The Self Care Revolution?

.

Health and Wellbeing, Self care, Self love

It’s not about willpower!

It's not about willpower!

Not being able to the diet or going to the gym regularly, or whatever the thing is you have promised yourself you will do or start again on Monday, has nothing to with willpower or lack of willpower.

 

You don’t do or stick to these things because you don’t really enjoy them, or you’re doing them for someone else’s approval, or to make you feel better amongst others.

When you find the diet that suits your body, allows you to eat foods you enjoy and bring you the health benefits you need then you will find it easier to stick to.

It’s the same with exercise, when you find the exercise that your body and your time in life and that gives you a buzz then you will do it naturally. You won’t need incentives or persuasion to do so.

Because ultimately having good relationships with food and exercise is all about self care.

And good self care is about really knowing yourself and understanding on the deepest level what works for you.

So if you’re stuck in the on/off the diet or exercise cycle maybe what you need is an overhaul of your self care.

You need The Self Care Revolution!

A free two part masterclass to help you understand yourself and what real self care looks like for you.

Good self care does not involve willpower, because when you have it in place lovingly look after yourself automatically.

Come and join the revolution

Health and Wellbeing, Reiki, Self care, Self love

Come join The Self Care Revolution

Come join The Self Care Revolution

It’s time you learned how to look after YOU properly!

time you implemented a self care routine that leaves you feeling

cared for

nurtured

energised

replenished.

Self care that means you looking after your physical, mental and emotional health.

Self care that encourages resilience and the ability to bounce back from all that life throws at you.

Self care that allows you to stick to your boundaries without feeling selfish.

Self care that is created for YOU by YOU.

It’s time for THE SELF CARE REVOLUTION!

A free 2 part masterclass where you will gain a deeper understanding of  yourself and how to implement a self care routine that works for you.

You can join here!

Change, Health and Wellbeing, Journaling, Meditation, Reiki, Self care, Self love

You are the only one who can validate how you feel!

You are the only one that can validate your feelings.

After yoga, this morning there was a conversation about emotions and what to do when someone invalidates how you feel.
 
For years, I found expressing my emotions very difficult because I was always either shut down or told I was being irrational or over sensitive. So I got to a point where I not only failed to express my emotions, I didn’t even acknowledge them. I would just stuff them down, tell myself everything would sort itself out or that I was resilient and would get through this.
 
Then I was introduced to Louise Hay and her affirmation “this too will pass” became one of my favourites. It was useful for enabling me to deal with life when things were hard but in some ways it also gave me carte blanche to ignore my feelings as they too would pass.
 
The trouble with ignoring your feelings is that you then end up anxious, depressed, stressed, resentful or angry or a combination of these. When this happens you may have the occasional meltdown because those feelings will erupt when you least expect it. This is when those around are most likely to invalidate your feelings, telling you that you are overreacting which you well may be because the eruption can be caused by the smallest of things which acts as a touch light and opens the flood gate to all the repressed emotions.
 
A good self care routine allows you the space and freedom to feel, express and validate your own emotions. You don’t need anyone else telling you how you should feel or dismissing your feelings, they’re not in your body living your life so they can’t possibly know how you feel. You are the only one who can validate how you feel.
 
The women in my free group are working with the affirmation “I allow myself to unapologetically feel all of my feelings” this week. When life gets busy it can be easy to just push something down and get on with the tasks in front of you but when you practise good self care you leave yourself time in your day to feel and process those feelings.
 
If you haven’t got a good self care routine or don’t know how to implement one I have a free guide to help you. Link here.
 
Or if you would like to join the women in my group working on building their confidence through implementing good self care you’ll find the link for that here.
Meditation, Reiki, Self care, Self love, Spirituality

𝙒𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙧𝙩.

𝙒𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙧𝙩.

Meditation is an art as well as a skill.

It differs for everyone, in how you approach it, what works for you on any particular day, what you achieve from your practice.

As well as bringing calm, clarity and relaxation it also enhances your creativity. Guided meditations can help you see the world differently, the words you hear both on a conscious and subconscious level allow you to create different images or visions, or change how you feel or think about something. Listening to the words, letting them wash over you, absorbing them, can open you up to new possibilities.

Writing and recording meditations is also an art. There is skill and precision in knowing when to pause and allow your words or voice a moment to be embodied or to allow any emotions that arise to be processed or to pass. Knowing how much time to give the meditator to achieve a state of relaxation before you address changing a thought or belief or taking them on an empowerment journey is crucial as is bringing them out of the meditative state and back to the present moment.

All artists deserve recognition and reward for their work. You wouldn’t go to an art gallery and presume you can just take a painting or sculpture you like home with you, you know you have to pay for it and you are prepared to do so. You pay for designer clothes and shoes because they endow a certain status upon you and you don’t quibble or shirk from paying the price. You pay to listen to the music you love, either by buying the CD or download or paying for a streaming service.  

 

This is why I sell my meditations, why I ask you to part with actual money in order to experience them. I value my time, my artistry, the skills and energy it takes to create an experience for you that will change you in some way. Meditations are not just something you listen to once, like the songs, books, films, they can be enjoyed over and over again bringing something different each time. I don’t charge designer fees though as I want my meditations to be accessible to all whatever their financial status as I believe meditation has the power to change your life.

If you are unsure what you are buying and want to know more please do contact me and I will answer your questions, or check out my reels where I have lots of short meditations so you can hear my voice, my words, my intonations and decide if they resonate with you. Because I know that feeling where you find a meditation you think is just right for what you need and a few minutes in the voice grates on you and there are bells and or other irritating sounds that prevent you from achieving a relaxed state. All of my meditations use the same background music, but if you just wanted my voice with no music I can do that easily for you, all you have to do is ask.

 If you want a meditation to address a particular worry or issue and I don’t have one available, then again ask. All things are possible for those who ask!