Where have you abandoned yourself?
This is the question that popped into my mind this morning as I sat to meditate.
My initial reaction was “What? I’ve never abandoned myself!”
But on journaling and further reflection, I realised I have abandoned myself time and time again.
Every time I’ve allowed myself to sink into a depressive state.
Every time I’ve allowed myself to get caught up in anxiety and spiral into a panic attack.
Every time I ‘ve suppressed my emotions with food, drink, exercise or sleep.
Every time I failed to voice my needs or my boundaries.
I’ve abandoned myself by not acknowledging my feelings, by ignoring the bodily sensations that gave rise to them, by not giving myself the time, space or opportunity to process them.
𝗗𝗼 𝗜 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀? 𝗡𝗢!
I recognise when I’m doing it, or about to do it and pre-empt it, by taking a moment and allowing myself time to check in with my feelings and needs. It has become easier with practice.
Growing up, I wasn’t taught how to be there for myself. I’ve always known how to be there for others, to put them first because is what I learned to do.
I wasn’t taught to take care of me because those responsible for my care as a child and adolescent hadn’t been taught it either.
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻’𝘁 𝘁𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿.
So where are abandoning yourself?
If you want to change that and learn how to take care of yourself understanding how you deal with change, what motivates you to make changes and what you do that holds you back from making the changes you want, is crucial.
We will be working on this in my free workshop on the 5th January. Join here.