Change, Health and Wellbeing, Journaling, Reiki, Self love

Boundaries

Boundaries

For years, I had no boundaries. I didn’t even know or understand what they were. Even the few I did mange to unknowingly put in were usually trampled all over.

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This was mostly because I didn’t see my time or me as a worthwhile or valuable. I put myself and my needs to the bottom of the pile so frequently that I couldn’t actually remember any of the things I used to enjoy doing just for me.

This was highlighted at the height of my depression when the counsellor I was seeing asked me what I liked to do with my free time. At that point in my life, with three young children and a house to run free time was scarce and when I did have some I usually spent it catching up on household chores. I couldn’t answer the question because It had been so long since I’d actually taken time just for me, to do the things that I loved to do that I’d forgotten what they were.

So I made a commitment that day to schedule some time for me. So two mornings a week, once I’d dropped the children to school, I went to a yoga class. On the other three weekday mornings, I decided to either sit and read or to write. I was an avid bookworm as a child and young adult but had let it slip in favour of watching TV because it was easier and somehow my ex thought he was getting my attention if I was watching a program with him rather than sat reading. My writing initially started as journaling but then veered towards poetry. I have written poetry for as long I can remember but again in the busyness of life had let it slip.

It took being diagnosed with severe clinical depression and a nudge from my counsellor to make me start looking at me and the things I needed to do for my own well being. Once I started though, I realised how much I missed doing those things, how good it felt to do something just for me. The side effects were even better! I began to feel more confident, my self-worth and value increased exponentially and I began to put boundaries in, at first just around my “me time” but they naturally began to extend to the rest of my life.

Change, Health and Wellbeing, Self love, Uncategorized

How do you talk to yourself?

How do you talk to yourself?

Last night, the bunny got a little impatient with me as I prepared his hay, water and bed time toys and in his excitement he bit me drawing blood. I swore from shock and pain. Rabbits have sharp teeth!I

t hurt a lot, but I know he didn’t mean to hurt me. He had seen me take his treat ball from the shelf and fill it up. It is one of his favourite toys. His excitement was palpable. He just couldn’t wait so tried to get it out my hand and I got bitten in the process.

I watched him chase it around for a few minutes while I cleaned up my hand and my thoughts turned to the times when I would have berated myself for not being quick enough. I would have yelled ay myself internally for swearing at the rabbit when he didn’t do it on purpose. Told myself I didn’t deserve his love and adoration because me swearing in pain could have made him thinkย  I was angry at him.

So much has changed, I was able to see it from his perspective, to give myself the time to clean up and connect to Reiki to help ease the pain.

In times past, I would have gone to bed upset and angry at myself. Instead, I gave myself the time I needed to recover from the shock and thanked him as we had our goodnight cuddles for reminding me of how far I have come and how good life is, particularly as I get to share it with him!

Change, Health and Wellbeing, Self love

Have you checked in with yourself today?

Have you checked in with yourself today?

Have you checked in with yourself today?

Checked how you feel emotionally, mentally, physically?

What feels good for you today?

What can you do to change what doesn’t feel good?

When you take the time to listen to yourself, to treat yourself with kindness and compassion and allow yourself to give yourself what you need you are

contributing to your self-worth and self esteem

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because you are telling yourself that you matter to YOU.

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So if you haven’t done so already today, take a moment or too to ask yourself how you are feeling, and what you need to do to take care of yourself today.

Your future self will thank you.

Change, Health and Wellbeing, Self love

How does your anxiety or depression serve you?

How does your anxiety or depression serve you?

A few years ago I was asked a question that shocked me to the core.

Shook me up.

Sent me into a spiral of

anxiety,

overthinking,

that actually gave me huge insights into how I was treating myself,

allowing others to treat me,

how my thought processes you doing me a huge disservice.

It was one of my turning points!

So I’m asking you the same question today:

๐™ƒ๐™ค๐™ฌ ๐™™๐™ค๐™š๐™จ ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช๐™ง ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™ญ๐™ž๐™š๐™ฉ๐™ฎ ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™™ ๐™™๐™š๐™ฅ๐™ง๐™š๐™จ๐™จ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ ๐™จ๐™š๐™ง๐™ซ๐™š ๐™ฎ๐™ค๐™ช?

Like I did, you might be having a mini tantrum right now!

I mean how dare I suggest that your anxiety or depression somehow serves a purpose?

It’s not as if you actually want to feel like this all the time. In fact you probably want to be free ofย  all that, you want to feel happy, confident but it’s just not happening.

Once I’d got over the tantrum/spiral, I realised that my anxiety and depression DID serve a purpose.

It kept me safe.

I didn’t feel safe because anxiety!

But I was also paralysed, scared to move forward in life, sometimes too scared to even step outside the front door.

My anxiety and depression were keeping me stuck in my supposed safe zone because doing anything different seemed way too scary.

๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜บ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜จ๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ง๐˜ฆ๐˜ค๐˜ต ๐˜ฆ๐˜น๐˜ค๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜บ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ, ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜บ ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ถ๐˜ค๐˜ฌ.

ย I could pretend I wanted change without actually making the changes because I was too anxious or depressed to do so.

Once I realised this, I was able to view my anxiety and depression in a different light, to see them not as the enemy and something I needed to fight against.

I started to listen to what they were trying to tell me, what they thought they were keeping me safe from, I learnt to use those insights to change my self talk, to expand my comfort zone.

In time, I left both anxiety and depression behind me, they are no longer a part of my life, I don’t need them any more. I listen to my intuition, to my body and allow them to guide me and keep me safe instead.

Body Image, Change, Health and Wellbeing

What would it mean for you to wake up feeling joyful?

What would it mean for you to wake up feeling joyful, excited for a new day?

Confident that you have all you need to craft the life you want?

Confidence and happiness are your birth right, your natural stateย  and you can find both again.

There is no magic wand or quick fix to take you there.

You can’t quantum leap from anxious, depressed, stressed to being on top of the world.

And I’d be lying if I said you could and that I could get you there overnight.

I can help get you there, if you’re prepared to do the inner work required.

You also need to be ready,

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ready to do the work,

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to change how you talk to and about yourself,

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ready to see yourself through eyes of kindness and compassion.

Are you ready?

It starts with self care and implementing a good self care routine.

If you don’t know waht that should look like or even where to start I have a free guide to help you. You can grab it here.

Change, Health and Wellbeing, Self love, Uncategorized

Are you kind to yourself?

Are you kind to yourself?

There was a time when a compliment would have me wanting to crawl under the nearest bush or have a hole open up in the floor and swallow me. I couldn’t bear anyone saying nice things to or about me.
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My headspace was taken up with criticising and judging myself, there was no room for compliments. I was so down on myself I couldn’t allow myself to hear or see anything good in me. I was not opening to receiving help, love or kindness.
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I couldn’t even be kind to myself. Whenever I came across anything that asked me what my strengths, skills or talents were my answer was automatically, “I have none.” However, if you’d asked me about weakness, I’d have been able to list millions as that was all I ever saw.
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Hitting rock bottom was what changed that for me. I realised I couldn’t go on like that anymore, that I couldn’t keep hating myself. My children needed me, and they loved me and told me so frequently. I never let on to them how awful I felt about myself and always encouraged them to be kind to themselves, to see their gifts and to explore new things.
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Life had been so busy, working, children, housework that I had forgotten how to take care of me. I was constantly giving and not allowing myself to receive. I started with joining a yoga class and walking more, just giving myself time to do something that was just for me.
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It wasn’t easy at first, and I found myself having to justify the cost of the yoga even to myself. Now I do yoga three times a week and I don’t even think about the cost. I value myself enough to give myself what I need to keep me healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally.
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If you relate to this and are feeling “oh, this is me” then I have a free guide to help you implement your self care routine. You can grab it here.