Affirmations, Health and Wellbeing, Self love

Three questions to ask yourself feeling anxious.

Three questions to ask yourself when you are feeling anxious.

Feeling anxious is normal! Especially when you are about to do something new or different. 

Allowing that anxiety to stop you from doing doing things, however, is not good. It restricts your lifestyle and you lose out on opportunities.

So if you are feeling anxious about going somewhere new or different here are three questions to help you deal with that anxiety and a real life example of how they help me!

The first question I ask is  What am I really scared of?

When I ask myself this question the answer invariably comes back that I am scared of getting lost. I don’t like being in “strange” places where I don’t know anyone or don’t recognise landmarks. I also hate being late, so getting lost adds to the stress of getting places at the time I agreed.

So having established that I then ask the second question  What are the chances of this happening?

Well it’s me and I don’t have a very good sense of direction and maps continue to be a complete mystery to me so there is a 95% chance that I will get lost!

This is where the third question come into its own. Can I plan for that or make a different choice?

I could choose not to go but that would lead to a pretty miserable life I chose to never go anywhere new. So I plan my route beforehand, I look on Google maps street view and identify landmarks to help me. If I am using public transport I plan and alternative route in case of delays or cancellations. I also let my son know where I am going as he has an excellent sense of direction and if I do inevitably end up getting lost I can call him and he can look at Google maps and tell me exactly where I need to go. If he is not available I just take a few deep breaths and step into knowing that I won’t be lost forever. I also know that I can ask others for help too.

Recognising the fear of getting lost  and knowing that it is likely to happen has in some way taken a lot the anxiety away from it. It’s not as if I plan to get lost but when I do it’s not as much of an issue because I am aware that it might happen and I build in time to my plans so that I’m not late even if I do get lost.

If you are struggling with anxiety on a regular basis I have a free audio of affirmations to help you. You can grab them here.

 

Affirmations, Health and Wellbeing, Self care, Self love, Spirituality

Affirmations don’t work!

Affirmations Don't Work!

If I had a pound for every time someone has told me that affirmations don’t work I would be a very rich woman indeed. 

So many say that they are “woo” or fluffy and that they do nothing.

If the affirmations you are, or have been using, are doing nothing for you, then you are using the wrong affirmations.

You see they are not meant to be easy. You don’t just repeat the words over and over and hope they’ll sink in and magically change your life!

And you give up to soon and too easily!

Because I bet the first time you used an affirmation it either felt bland or it brought up all sort of uncomfortable feelings and your brain ran riot trying to disprove what you were telling it.

If it felt meh or even good then it was the wrong affirmation – you don’t need that one, try another one.

The one that brought up the horrible feelings and negative thought cycles?

That is the affirmation you need!

But you ran away because it didn’t feel good and you were told that’s what affirmations do.

You possibly feel lied to and hoodwinked.

You weren’t. You just weren’t told how affirmations are really supposed to work!

they are supposed to bring up all the uncomfortable feelings and negative thoughts because that’s how you know you what you need to work on.

If you use the affirmation, for example, ” I love and approve of myself” and it makes you feel all squirmy and you want to avoid the feelings that come up then you know you have some work to do on loving and approving yourself. 

You most likely have deep seated beliefs that you are not good enough or that you are unworthy of love or approval. 

This is what you need to address!

You need to work on loving yourself and seeing your worth and as you do so the affirmation will begin to feel more comfortable and as you repeat it you begin to believe it and it’s worked it’s magic. You can say that you love and approve of yourself because you have done the work and can see how loveable and worthy you are.

That is how affirmations work. They are not a magic wand or spell. They require your willingness to change long held beliefs and thoughts about yourself, by helping you find them in first place.

Want to know more grab my free audio and video and let’s make affirmations work for you.

Health and Wellbeing, Self care, Self love

Do you have a side to you that no one see?

Do you have a side to you that no one sees?

Do you have a side to you that no one sees? Until they do and then it surprises them?
 
That phrase “still waters run deep” has always bugged me because in many ways it’s true.
 
While I like to think I am transparent that what you see is what you get it isn’t. On the surface I appear a calm, confident, quiet, wouldn’t say boo to a goose person. (I like clichés!)
 
But I have a rebellious streak that’s like an iron rod through my core. It is an integral part of who I am and makes me not just stubborn but often unable to toe the line, to do what others easily do, to follow someone else’s advice without question trusting that it will work for me as it has for them. I have a profound urge to understand the why, what and how and until I do I remain resolute in not taking that first step.
 
As a child I was fearful but also curious. Brought up a Catholic we were warned against stepping inside the Protestant church; told that if we did we would be struck down by lightning or worse. That the Lord would be very displeased with us. I needed to find out what was inside that church. It was set away from the main town with a graveyard around it, a stone arch at its entrance. There were trees on either side of the path up to the church door which lent themselves well to hiding a little girl while she staked out the place, took note of any comings and goings, service times and from the newsletter pinned to the outside notice board any funerals that might be taking place.
 
One sunny afternoon when all was clear, I stepped out from behind my tree and walked tentatively towards the always open front door. I knew there was no one in there and from my observations that no one was likely to arrive in the next half hour or so. I gathered all my strength and courage and stepped over the threshold into the forbidden church.
 
It was beautiful. Smaller than our church, but older with arches and pillars, two separate naves with unfamiliar statues. The sun shone through the stained-glass windows creating a myriad of jewel like patterns on the floor. I was mesmerised. And strangely felt far safer here than I did in my own huge, cold mausoleum of a church where the rules and regulations sought to stifle my spirt.
 
For a year or two before we moved to another town, this small forbidden church became a refuge for me. A place I would come to be alone, to sit and think or admire the everchanging patterns on the floor, for even on dull days the sun still shone through those coloured windows.
 
I never understood why we were not allowed in that church so was always cautious against getting caught. Maybe someone else knew that I snuck in there as a little girl, not to pray but to let my imagination run riot, to escape the noise of siblings and friends, and sometimes to read but always alert in case someone might find me there. I was afraid but I followed my heart and found peace.
Change, Health and Wellbeing, Journaling, New Year, Uncategorized, Workshop

Are you making resolutions for 2023?

Are you making changes in 2023?

As we say hello to a new calendar year many of you may feel the desire to change things up, to set new goals or resolutions.
 
You don’t have to, obviously.
 
It might be a good time for you to make adjustments to your habits, to learn new skills, embark on new hobbies or make other plans.
 
For some of you spring might be the best time, when the days are getting longer and things seem more hopeful.
 
For others, the start of the academic year can be when you find it best to set new things in action.
 
Do you actually know when your “best” time is?
 
Do you understand how you deal with change?
 
If you don’t know or understand your attitude to, and beliefs and thoughts around, change you are most likely not setting yourself up for success.
 
This goes hand in hand with understanding what motivates the change you want, the fears and beliefs around that.
 
You also need to understand the things you do that work against you making the change.
 
When you know these things about yourself then you are better prepared to take the first steps.
 
Change is easier to achieve when you take it one small step at time and build on each step, when you set realistic time frames you are setting yourself up for success.
 
Whether you are making changes now or later in the year, my free workshop will help, you understand yourself and change better so that whenever you decide to make the changes in your life that you want you are giving yourself the best chance at success. Link to join here.
Body Image, Health and Wellbeing, Journaling, Uncategorized

You are Unique!

Just as each and every snowflake is unique...

I don’t like snow vey much but…
 
I absolutely love the idea that when viewed under a microscope every single snowflake has its own unique and beautiful pattern.
 
Pretty much like humans…
each and everyone of us is unique
not just our physique
but we each have our own individual set of skills and talents.
 
You can’t compare two snowflakes and say one is more beautiful than another
 
(especially as we can’t see them without a microscope!)
 
So why do that to yourself?
 
YOU are unique,
 
YOU are beautiful just they way you are.
 
Confidence comes from recognising your individuality and letting go of comparisons because there is and never will another person just like YOU.💕💜💕