For years, I suffered from low level depression and anxiety, that had really just become so much part of who I was that I accepted it as just life. I always had worries, about money, about my children, my parents, my health and the health of others. My relationship was breaking down and I lived in a state of fear. Whenever I tried to discuss it with anyone, I was made feel like I was just complaining.
Yet people told me they were in awe of me, I was so organised holding down a full-time job, bringing up three children almost single-handedly, I never forgot a mufti day or any of the children’s activities. But I was like the proverbial swan, serene and graceful on the surface but paddling furiously underneath.
Then there was a major re-organisation on the work front and my job began causing me huge amounts of stress, at the same my daughter’s illness exacerbated, and while I still worried about finances, I took the decision to leave work and take some time out.
That is when the full force of depression and anxiety hit. Having, for the first time in years, time to myself I found I was at a loss, I had no idea how to sit still, to just be in the moment. I had spent decades rushing from one over-planned task to the next. Now there were days of nothingness facing me, I rattled around the house just waiting for school pick-up time. I was so burnt out and so lacking in confidence I barely knew how to talk to anyone at the school gates. I found myself withdrawing, going deeper and deeper into the dark well of depression. There did not seem to be a way out.
It was through a chance discussion with someone at a yoga class that I subscribed to Hay House and started to receive emails from them about podcasts and books. One day I opened one of those emails and it was offering me a free book about Reiki. I read the book and I literally lit up from the inside out, I knew I had to find out more and embarked on my journey to become a Reiki Master/Teacher.
I never thought that I could be happy or stress free yet every day I wake up with a smile on my face and feel so grateful to be here and for the experiences and opportunities that lead me to this point. Reiki helped me find the calm, the peace, the clarity I sought and to make some very difficult but rewarding changes to my life. Now I use Reiki to help others do the same.